Ahhhh the joys of customer service....

Some people just don't get it. They really think they are better then everyone else and don't have to follow the rules. Coaches, parents, kids. It really drives me up a wall.

If a form has required areas on it, including a credit card, fill it out!!! If you signing up to join an adult gym, or to pay your bills online, or I don't know whatever else people use credit cards for, you would hand it over no problem. When it comes to your kids classes thought, let's see if we can avoid paying for them. That sounds like a good idea. It won't sound like a good idea when I go in and back flip your kid out of class because you didn't pay. It won't be such a good idea when I send your ass to collections and they take away that pretty Lexus you can't pay for. Stop making my life difficult and just provide the damn credit card!!! If you can use it to buy those pretty Prada pumps and chic Chanel clutch than whats the problem? If you are truly one of the parents who are tight on money, I can see your hesitation. If you can't afford the class, or are unsure if you can afford it, I'm sorry, but you just can't take it. My heart goes out to you, really it does. As a kids who's parents couldn't afford those classes I get where you are coming from. Trust me your kid will be fine. They will get into college, they will get a job, they will have friends, they will survive. Save your money for the college tuition. I guarantee you they will be more pissed if you can't afford room and board then if you didn't bring them to karate class once a week at age 8.

For those coaches out there who don't like to come and teach their classes......WHAT THE FUCK! I don't care if you hit an elephant on the highway on its way to the circus. Get your ass to class. Maybe you had one too many shots the night before. I get it, you feel like shit. Been there done that. If I can get my ass up at 7 am, after getting home at 4 am, and then work 10 hours, I don't want to hear it. Your class isn't until 4:30 pm! If you aren't recovered by then, you need a doctor. And I want the note. Then I want you to Skype me from your hospital bed so that you can explain to the 15 angry parents in front of me why you aren't here. Again. On top of that you can give me the money out of your pocket to refund them. I'm sick of not getting paid my paycheck, when I show up to work every time I'm suppose to, because I have to refund parents for your irresponsibility. God himself, or whatever your respective religion worships, better have popped up through the earth and told you not to come to work because you need to complete a special mission. Further more, if he does, can you ask him to get me a million dollars? A winning lottery ticket? Buy my future kids since I don't have any right now? Yes is the answer to the question afterall, isn't it?

Quiet Day at the Office

Today was a pretty quiet day at the office. Not too many customers to deal with. Mostly I had to work on creating advertising materials and organize the mess the new people left for me. It's hard training new people. Not only do I have to focus on my own work, but I need to correct theirs as well. You would think answering the phone with "Yes is the answer, what is the question?" would be the easiest part of the job. You'd be surprised how hard it is for them. My method of training was role playing so that they could get the feel of the types of questions customers would ask. I would them walk them through step by step as to how to find the answers. I even gave them idiot proof packets that outline most of the answers and steps for them. Yet while sitting there pretending not to pay attention to what they were doing, they still manage to fuck it all up. It is extremely frustrating. I just want to jump in and do it for them, but I know they will never learn that way. That is assuming they even want to learn. The attitude I am getting is less then satisfactory. Perhaps I am being too hard on them. I tend to have some pretty high expectations of them. It could also be that their performance directly affects my job. The faster they learn and get on track the faster I get to move up in the company. Chilling out and having some understanding might need to be something I have to work on. We'll see how it goes.

Damn, now I have to pay for my classes?

Just got a call from a guy who was very upset that a collection agency has been calling his house looking for money. How rude it is that we even sent him there in the first place. I felt bad, really. I mean you took three months of classes here with us, over two years ago, and now we are asking you to pay for them. The audacity! How could we! We only gave you a year to pay before we sent you to collections! And it has been a year since we sent you to collections and they called you the whole time asking for the money! The horror! I can see how we are in the wrong here and were completely out of line. Everyone should get two years to pay off the classes that they took. Why tell us why you aren't paying and ignore the phone calls we made to you personally. I can see how with all of this sending you to collections was extremely irresponsible, rude, and a bad business procedure.

Fuck off dude. Pay your bills.

The Teenage Years

I had a very nice mom whome I chat with occasionally ask me a very interesting question the other day. She asked me if I remembered when I was 16. Intrigued I replied that I did and asked her why she wanted to know. She was having problems with her daughter who has recently entered her teenage years and wanted some advice as to what her daughters mind set might be. The daughter wanted to go to some party or something and completely freaked out when mom said no. Ahhhh yes, I remember those days not so fondly. It felt nice being able to explain to her how similar I reacted when I was her daughters age. How when you are a teenager it feels like mom is trying to destroy her life. It doesn't matter if mom just bought you a new pair of UGG's and took all of your friends out to dinner. The second you say no she is the enemy. It felt good being able to tell her that in a few years it will all change and she will appreciate her in more ways then one. For once I was able to help a mom out with more then just a payment or enrolling them into a class. I actually got to help her understand her daughter a little better. In a way I guess it brightened both of our days.

Child Services

Even though I may get frustrated with all of the needy rich moms that I have to deal with most of the time, there is always one thing that can make me smile. The kids. I get the pleasure of helping out, talking to, and playing with the most adorable little kids on the planet. Okay I might be slightly biased, but still if you saw them you'd agree. Their adorable blue eyes and charming innocence gets me every time they say hi. It makes me reminisce about my own childhood and the simplicities that children get to enjoy. I had a tampon on my desk the other day-sorry boys-and the bosses nine year old daughter asked me what it was. I was surprised honestly and stupidly that she didn't know what it was. I asked her if she had learned what happens to girls when they grow up yet. She enthusiastically said no and I honestly was jealous. Yes Jealous. Come on ladies don't you miss when you were young and you didn't have to know about or deal with adulthood. You ran around a gym playing with friends and talking to the friendly front desk woman where she gave you stickers and goodie bags. Those were the days. Mom paid the bills, you had fun, and you didn't have to listen to the cheap moms who could squeeze change out of a penny.

Yes is the answer, what is the question??

At my full time job I have to answer the phone with "******! Yes is the answer, what is the question?" at least fifty times a day. Out of those fifty times, more the 25 of them are returned with a laugh. This is then followed by the hello and they ask me whatever clever question they can think of. It's as if they think they are so quick I haven't already been asked the same question by the countless other brilliant customers I am forced to deal with. Can I have a million dollars? Do you want to buy my kids? Can you pay my bills? Do you know who this is? Can I get a blow job? Well that one was by a coworker trying to ease the pain of the same pointless shit all day, but you get the point.

I admit it is a different way to answer the phone and it does get people to remember us. Still, I am absolutely sick of trying to be cute and sweet with the responses I get. Instead what I really wnat to say is "What the fuck do you want help with already, can we just get to the point?! I have a million other things to take care for my Russian "mob" Boss, let alone what you are now going to ask me to do!"

With that said, it will probably surprise you that I was shocked when someone called me rude today, but come on! With that attitude and they thought I was rude! No, but really, in all seriousness, as much contempt as I might have at the end of the day for my job, I still try my hardest (for the most part) to be as pleasant as possible. I treat every customer with the same respect I receive. I'd say even more so when it comes to the la de da rich moms who make it a point to make me feel as if they are better then me. I smile and I get done whatever they need to as quickly as possible. Hell I even make small talk about the weather, community events, smile at there kids, and give their kids a sticker or some candy if allowed. 9 times out of 10 I rock at customer service, so I guess this women just caught me on an off day. She didn't even have the balls to say I was rude to my face, she had her little friend come up and say it to me. I hope I'm not working when she comes in again. Can you say kill them with kindness?? :)